Things Change
by Natzcrazy
Summary: (Reupload from the story @ unbrokenglass)5 years after being rejected by his best friend leads Dean to the artist life. music au
1. Chapter 1: Confession

A/N: Since I have made my own account I will be continuing "Things Change" from unbrokenglass. Since it was my story but was too lazy to create an account here so now with the story.

 **DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MUSIC MENTION ONLY THE PLOT.**

 _ **When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest. - Henry David Thoreau**_

On one summer day in Lawrence, Kansas 16 year old Dean Winchester the famous lady killer ever known walks towards his one best friend/neighbor. Scribbling down on his sheet of paper a pair of black boots catches his eyes, "Dean nice of you to actually show up in time", he looks toward the teen grinning down on him. "Well damn, Cas I thought you had more faith in me", Dean Mummers slightly, "well anyway are you ready to go or what", he asked. _Today is the day that I'll tell him_ Castiel thought while ignoring what Dean told him snapping out of his thoughts when a hand was waved in front of his face.

"Hey! Are you ready or what Cas?" Dean asked with a slight annoyance in his voice "Um…yes…sorry Dean", Castiel replied. Getting off the porch Castiel fixed his pants that Anna thought would look good on him, _why must they be so tight_ he thought. Putting on his tan trench coat he followed Dean to his "baby" as dean would say, "why so gloomy Cas? You're always a happy camper when it came to school." Dean stated as he stared at his friend who seem to be living in a dream world. "I'm fine dean just a bit tired", castiel responded giving him a small smile to reassure his friend his friend dean not buying it all, just brushed it off and just enter into his "baby" starting the car. While castiel adjusted his seat-belt he noticed that Sam was nowhere to be seen, "where's Sam?" dean glanced at castiel **damn those baby blues are so adorable** and remembering the question he answered as cool as he could, "Well you know Sammy always wanting to be early to school." "Oh", castiel let out as he turned to look out the window _I wonder if I could tell him._

At school everyone smiled and waved at dean while he showed one of his famous smiles that make girls flush. As to when castiel walks down the halls of the school not many look his way unless he's with dean which he mostly is. School is what castiel would like to say is his domain walking towards his locker the one and only mayor of dickland as dean would announced to his peers. Raphael the assbutt castiel says walks over towards him "what's up faggot did you lose your sex toy today!" Raphael shouted causing everyone to look towards the commotion. Castiel being the most reasonable one replied, "don't you have anything else to do than annoy me with your lame accusations", closing his locker he storms out. The rest of the day dean has been mentally freaking out _what if I tell him and he rejects me… what if he never wants to be my friend…pull yourself together dammit your Dean Winchester every girls and guys dream!_ Gaining some courage he made out of the last class ready to confess to Castiel. "I can do this and no matter what happens there will be no regret", he told himself waiting on the hood of the Impala Sam approaches dean "So, you're going to confess to Cas already Dean?" he asked.

Dean blushed "w-what! How did you know" he stuttered Sam grinned, "it's so obvious dean that you liked Cas and about time you told him", he laughed a bit. "Shut up Sammy aren't you late for your nerd class", dean said while calming himself down, Sam giving him one of his bitchfacces "it's SAM not Sammy and it's a student council meeting Dean" Dean smiled a bit "whatever Sammy…bitch", Sam rolled his eyes "whatever jerk", dean watching his brother leave he took a breath "Damn was I that obvious", dean thought out loud. "Dean are you alright?" castiel said while tilting his head a bit, shocked dean turned to castiel "uh…yeah Cas I'm fine" "well shall we go home Dean?" castiel asked getting ready to enter the impala. "Wait!" Dean shouted. Castiel looked at Dean, "what is it dean?" he asked confused "uh...Cas...I...Damn." Dean said as he sighed and looked at Castiel "Cas I like you like really like you and not in that friendly kind of way…but you in that boyfriend kind of way. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?" Blue eyes widen _what did he just say, did he just say he like me_ not having anything to say only nodded. After what seemed like hours of silence he spoke "So Castiel what do you say do you wanna go out with me?" Castiel looked down as he played with his fingers, what _can I say_ "um…well" _this wasn't supposed to happen_ "Dean I'm sorry but no"

Emerald eyes widen as he looked down a bit and laughed bitterly "Yeah I know this was stupid to even ask, why am I such a dumbass?" Castiel feeling guilty put a hand on dean's leather jacket, "No, Dean you're not stupid it's not you it's complicated." "What's so complicated Castiel? Tell me! Please because I don't understand!" Dean shouted. Castiel eyes stung with tears waiting to fall "it's better off this way Dean I'm sorry that I'm hurting you but I can't accept your feelings no matter how much I want to. So please don't blame yourself" Castiel looked into Dean's eyes as he ran away. Castiel ran through the blur vision that his tears created he didn't care if anyone saw, making it to his house he started packing his suitcase. "Today was the day I was going to tell him I'm leaving" he stated as he laughed "then he goes and confesses to me why he couldn't do it sooner." Anna knocked on castiel's door "Hey Castiel are you ready to go for tomorrow?" she asked "yes" he replies "did you already talk to dean about it? "Yes" he said. "Alright well good night Castiel" she said as she left "good night" as he laid down to sleep.

Dean returned that day still shocked by what happened he enters the house and goes straight to his room and drowns himself with his metallic music. The next day castiel never returned to school only to find out that Castiel has moved making dean wish he never told his best friend his true feelings. Grabbing his guitar he starts playing "Hey Jude" not knowing what the future has in store for them.

~ **5 years later~**

As he started tuning his guitar a man announces "Dean?" he looks up "yeah?" the man says "you're up Dean" a smile appears "Great." Walking on stage hearing the screams of his fans the lights hits him, he takes hold of the microphone "Hello I'm Dean, let's get this party started" As he starts playing his guitar not noticing the bright blue eyes looking at him….

To be continued

A/N: sorry for doing this so late xC


	2. Chapter 2: Gone Forever?

**DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MUSIC MENTION ONLY THE PLOT. Lost in the Echo Belongs to Linkin Park and Gone Forever by Three Days Grace 0.0**

 _ **I need drama in my life to keep making music- Eminem  
**_

~ **5 years later~**

 _As he started tuning his guitar a man announces "Dean?" he looks up "yeah?" the man says "you're up Dean" a smile appears "Great." Walking on stage hearing the screams of his fans the lights hits him, he takes hold of the microphone "Hello I'm Dean, let's get this party started" As he starts playing his guitar not noticing the bright blue eyes looking at him…._

After singing Lost in the Echo Dean looks out into the crowd, "What's up California!" he shouted while the whole crowd cheered. "This is a song for all you broken hearted it's called Gone Forever", he moves away from the mic as the music starts to play.

Grabbing the mic he starts to sing

" _Don't know what's going on_

 _Don't know what went wrong_

 _Feels like a hundred years_

 _I still can't believe you're gone"_

He walks closer to the crowd

" _So, I'll stay up all night_

 _With these bloodshot eyes_

 _While these walls surround me_

 _With the story of our life"_

He opens his eyes looking around all his cheering fans

" _I feel so much better_

 _Now, that you're gone forever_

 _I tell myself that I don't_

 _Miss you at all_

 _I'm not lying, denying_

 _That I feel so much better now_

 _That you're gone forever"_

Noticing blue eyes following him and brushing it off he continues.

" _Now, things are coming clear_

 _And I don't need you here_

 _And in this world around me_

 _I'm glad you disappeared_

 _So, I'll stay out all night_

 _Get drunk and fuckin fight_

 _Until the morning comes_

 _I'll forget about our life_

 _I feel so much better_

 _Now, that you're gone forever_

 _I tell myself that I don't_

 _Miss you at all_

 _I'm not lying, denying_

 _That I feel so much better now_

 _That you're gone forever"_

Bending down to grab the hands of his adoring fans and loving their smiles he goes back to the other side of the stage.

" _First time you screamed at me_

 _I should have made you leave_

 _I should have known_

 _It could be so much better_

 _I hope you're missing me_

 _I hope I've made you see_

 _That I'm gone forever"_

The blue eyed stranger goes as close as he can to see Dean. While Dean finally turns his way…

" _And now, it's coming clear_

 _That I don't need you here_

 _And in this world around me_

 _I'm glad you disappeared_

 _I feel so much better_

 _Now, that you're gone forever_

 _I tell myself that I don't_

 _Miss you at all_

 _I'm not lying, denying_

 _That I feel so much better now_

 _That you're gone forever"_

Dean eyes widen when both blue and green eyes meet as dean thinks _**NO WAY…IT CAN'T BE…**_

" _And now, you're gone forever_

 _And now, you're gone forever"_

 _ **Castiel…**_

To be continued


	3. Chapter 3: Who are you?

**DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MUSIC MENTION ONLY THE PLOT.**

 _ **Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent- Victor Hugo**_

The music stops and Dean's mind can't process what he has just seen _**No Way IN HELL! That was not Castiel**_ he thought _**It can't be why would he be here.**_ He grabs his mic "Thank you California for letting me play for you. You were fucking great" he says as he walks off stage while all of the equipment is being taken off. Finally able to leave he goes to the bus just to be greeted by his younger brother Sam who grew like Abraham Lincoln. "Hey Dean how was your show?" he asked "great Sammy how was your day with Ben?" he asked Sam while he started to undressing himself. "He's fine, crawling faster than most 1 year olds." Sam replied Dean just smiled, "Damn right he is faster than most babies he's a Winchester!" dean exclaimed. "So where is he then Sam?" Sam replied, "In the bed sleeping like any baby would" Dean just laughed a bit as he put a muscle shirt on and some shorts, "Well then I'm off to join him."

Just as Dean was about to head towards Ben, Sam stopped him "Wait Dean!" he shouted but not too loud. Dean looked at Sam's direction "what is it Sammy?" he asked while looking at his younger brother, "um… well you know how I'm going out with Gabriel…right?" Sam said. Now in big brother mode when Dean hears Sam's boyfriend name, "What happened Sammy? Did that MOTHERFUCKER do something to you because I SWEAR I WOULD-" Dean was cut off by Sam, "What no Dean, Gabriel didn't do anything to me it's just it's almost Christmas in a few weeks…and I mean me and Gabriel were thinking…" "Spit it out Sammy!" Dean said raising his voice to Sam's blabbering Sam sighs as he speaks again "We're wondering if you could join us for Christmas. To be with the family and Bobby will be there and it would be great for ben to have a great Christmas" Sam stated.

Dean sighs, _**Sam is right it would be great for Ben… Damn my little smart brother**_ as he grunts "Fine I'll go I have my holiday vacation anyway," Sam smile grows bigger as he hears those words come out of his brother's mouth, "Great! This Christmas is going to be great" he exclaimed. Dean smiled at how Sam can act like such a child, "So are we going over to Gabriel's home in Florida?" he asked. Sam's smile got smaller "well no…well it's in our hometown Dean." Sam said though a bit slower cautious of Deans reaction "You mean in Kansas?" dean asked while Sam only nodded "Alright".

Sam eyes widen "Alright? Dean are you feeling okay?" he question while Dean just sighed, at how girly his brother was acting "Yes I'm fine now stop your bitching Sam I'm tired and I'm going to sleep g'night" he said while walking off to where Ben was sleeping. Sam just stared as Dean walked away "goodnight I guess" and just when he was outside of the bus a figure tackles him "Samsquatch I've missed you" the stranger yelled.

Not caring for the pain Sam felt when he hit the cement he looks up at the figure that attacked him. He had golden hair but not too long or short and almost caramel eyes. The stranger gets off Sam and stretches out his hand to sam "Come on Sam get off your butt and greet me" he said with the most cunning grin. "Gabriel" Sam said making the figure look up at him "What did I tell you about eating chocolate while we are on the road." Sam looked down at the figure that started pouting "aw come on you know I can't live without my baby it's what makes me awesome" Gabriel stated with a huge grin. Sam chuckled "sure you're awesome Gabriel" as he leaned down and gave a quick kiss while Gabriel flushed a bit "yeah you better know it Sam!"

Gabriel looked around "oh yeah Sam I would like you to meet my cousins" he said while calling over two figures that were waiting near the road. Just as the two figures walked over to them did Sam noticed something about the man with the skinny jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. _He looks familiar_ Sam thought. Gabriel being the loud mouth shouted out "well Sam this is my cousin Balthazar and Cassie". "My name is not Cassie Gabriel I would like you to refrain from using it." The guy who was shorter than Balthazar said with a bit of annoyance in his voice. The man looked at Sam that Sam thought the guy was looking into his soul with those piercing blue eyes _wait blue eyes…_ Sam thought. "Hello Sa1m my name is Castiel Novak it's nice to meet you." Castiel said with a small smile. "WHAT! Castiel oh my god it's you! When did you get here? Does Dean know… crap Dean" Sam said a little fast, "Woah breathe there babe" Gabriel said while holding Sam's hand. "It's me Sam Winchester we used to be neighbors in Kansas you were best friends with my older brother Dean Winchester" Sam told him hoping that Castiel will remember.

 _Winchester…sounds familiar but from where_ Castiel questioned himself until it finally hit him. _I remember now I used to live near them, their family was great Sam was smaller and Dean…Dean he was my friend… though I thought of him more than that… what happened between us?_ He thought while remembering the first time he ever met Sam and Dean.

 **~FLASHBACK~**

It has been a month since Castiel has moved to Lawrence, Kansas it was a sunny day and castiel thought it would be a great day to read outside. Grabbing one of his favorite books he goes outside to the swing and silently reads that is until he hears someone shout, "Ready or not here I come" said a voice from across the fence. Castiel was about to return to his reading until he saw a bow crawl from under a hole that was in the fence, just as Castiel was about to ask him what he was doing the boy looked at him. Castiel was memorized by those green eyes, "Hey can I hide here for a bit?" the boy asked. Castiel taking in the green eyes and the freckles on the boy's face he just nodded when he sees another boy come shortly after he was very small _maybe his younger brother or cousin_ he thought. The little boy had the same eyes as the other boy though he didn't have blondish hair but a good light brown hair.

"Hey did you see a guy who is this tall" he asked while showing with his hand in the air Castiel chuckled at this as he just shakes his head no. "Oh" the small boy said "Well hi my name is SAM like S-A-M not Sammy and I'm 6 so what are you reading?" he asked while pointing at the book in Castiel's hand. Castiel looked down at his book "Well it's called the lightning thief and hello Sam I'm Castiel and I'm 11 for now". Sam smiled "Dats the same age as my big brother Dean he's 11 too" he said so proudly. "Sammy you're supposed to find me, not talk to the neighbor" Dean said while looking at the boy that his brother openly talked to. _ **Woah this kid has the bluest eyes I have ever seen**_ he thought while looking at him. "Sowwy dean it's just he has an awesome book" he told dean while he looked at Castiel "Can I pwease borrow it Castiel" he asked while giving him his best puppy eyes.

Castiel just stared back at the Sam bewildered and gave into his eyes "Well I see no reason why I shouldn't lend you my book we are neighbors so yes you can borrow my book Sam" he replied as Sam jumped up with glee and gave Castiel a quick hug. Castiel eyes widen by the action of affection as dean stared at the boy with ruffled hair and wearing a mini trench coat "Hi I'm Dean and Cas-ti-er uh cas-diel you know what I'm calling you Cas", he said with a smirk Castiel looked at him "why would you give me a nickname Dean?" he asked while tilting his head slightly.

Dean just laughed at the question as he put a hand on Castiel's arm "Aw man your funny and were friends aren't we Cas" he said as he grinned. _Friend_ Castiel thought "Yes Dean were friends" as he gave Dean a rare smile he only showed to his cousins.

 **~END OF FLASHBACK~**

Snapping back to reality Castiel sees both Gabriel and Balthazar fighting over something and Sam laughing. _I remember now I wonder where dean is… I can't wait to see him again_ Castiel thought as a small smile played on his lips. _Seems he doesn't remember what happened between him and dean_ Sam thought as he saw Castiel smiling to himself _well ignorance is bliss_ Sam said to himself. He then turn to the bus that his brother was in, not knowing his lost love was just outside…

To be continued


	4. Chapter 4: What's left?

**DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MUSIC MENTION ONLY THE PLOT. Pieces by Linkin Park, Maybe by Secondhand Serenade**

 _ **Music is well said to be the speech of angels- Thomas Carlyle**_

Dean was going to stay in California for two days now that a day passed Castiel thought it would be a great idea to hear some songs that Dean has made. Eager to make it to the hotel he told Balthazar he would drive and he could relax in the backseat. As he reached the hotel he woke Balthazar up though it took some glares and blackmail to get his lazy bum up. As Balthazar left to his own room, yes this hotel had two bedrooms Castiel went to his own room and pulled out his laptop. As the window came on screen he went to google to search the biography on Dean (Castiel just wanted to know what occurred to Dean when he left). While it was loading Castiel thought it would be good time to change out of his concert clothes as Balthazar would say, into some simple sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

As he went to brush his teeth Castiel brought his laptop to his bed and laid it down. Reading the biography Castiel found out many things he never knew about Dean. Castiel couldn't believe that his first album was as the write wrote 'heart breaking enough that the angels would cry'. He also found out that most of the time Dean would like to just work on his music or hang out with his brother. Reading this biography made him feel bad for not being there for throughout the years when his parents died or when he was married.

He couldn't believe he has never known about dean being an artist the whole time until Balthazar and Gabriel were talking about how good his music was. Of course Gabriel only cared about the artist's younger brother Sam. That's when it hit him that he never heard any song dean wrote only the ones today so he made up his mind to hear all songs that were ever made by Dean.

So castiel got into You-Tube and plugged in his earphones so he wouldn't bother Balthazar as he picked a random video called "Pieces" which he enjoyed very much. Time passed and he has heard almost 30 songs which castiel were party, serious, and funny. Though looking for another song one title caught his eye 'Maybe', "hmm this sounds interesting", Castiel thought aloud. As he played the video, Castiel waited for it to stop buffering and just freaking play.

" _Didn't you want to hear the sound of all the places we could go?_

 _Do you fear the expressions on the faces we don't know?_

 _It's a cold hard road when you wake up and I don't think that I_

 _Have the strength to let you go_ "

Castiel was in awe of how beautiful dean's voice was as he started remembering of the last time he saw Dean.

" _Maybe it's just me, couldn't you believe_

 _That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving?_

 _And the tear in your eye and your calm hard face_

 _Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place"_

As the memory came back to him of looking at Dean after he had rejected him.

" _There goes my ring, it might as well have been shattered_

 _And I'm here to sing about the things that mattered_

 _About the things that made us feel alive for, oh, so long_

 _About the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong_ "

The moment he saw how Deans eye look as lifeless as he said he was fine. Castiel shakes his head as if it could stop the memory coming back again.

" _Maybe it's just me, couldn't you believe_

 _That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving?_

 _And the tear in your eye and your calm hard face_

 _Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place"_

He remembers the time when he ran away and it seemed he lost his friend that he loved so deeply.

" _And someday, I promise I'll be gone_

 _And someday, I might even sing this song to you_

 _I might even sing this song to you, to you, to you_

 _And I was crying alone tonight_

 _And I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you_

 _So just come back we'll make it better_

 _So just come back, I'll make it better than it ever was_

 _I'll make it better than it ever was 2x"_

Not noticing the tears that were forming in his eyes when he remembered of all the good times with Dean.

" _Maybe it's just me, couldn't you believe_

 _That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving?_

 _And the tear in your eye and your calm hard face_

 _Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place_ "

Castiel couldn't see any more from the rears he was trying to hold back.

" _Maybe it's just me, couldn't you believe_

 _That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving?_

 _And the tear in your eye and your calm hard face_

 _Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place (I want it all, don't leave right now)_

 _Maybe it's just me (I'll give you everything)"_

Now that the song has ended Castiel couldn't help but to let the tears fall as he closed his laptop putting it on the nightstand. Simple tears turned to sobs as he tried to wipe the tears that were flowing as freely as he let his head fall into his hands. "Castiel…" Castiel looked up as Balthazar was standing in the doorway. _I forgot to close the door_ Castiel thought as Balthazar came close to him "What's wrong Castiel?" hearing those words Castiel couldn't help but just cry more as he tried to respond to his cousin "I…I…It's my fault …he …me…and I-I re-rejected him", Castiel said as he grabbed Balthazar's shirt.

Balthazar was confused of what his cousin was talking about but whatever it was must have been bad if he's crying this bad. "Who are you talking about? Who confessed to you?" he asked as he soothed Castiel by rubbing circles on his back. Castiel looked up at him with tear filled eyes "D-Dean" Balthazar didn't understand how Dean could of confessed to him if they never met today "When did he confess to you?" he asked while Castiel rubbed his eyes "5years ago and I-I rejected him even though I d-didn't want to I'm such a bad person I-I broke my first crush h-heart-" he shouted as he started to cry more, "I'm such a heartless bastard! I don't deserve any love or compassion" Castiel said with a pain expression on his face.

Balthazar eyes widen hearing the words coming out of his cousin "Castiel you're not a bastard or heartless alright why don't you tell me everything alright" he said with a small smile. Castiel only nodded as he began to tell him about that faithful day…

To be continued


	5. Chapter 5: Welcome?

**DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MUSIC MENTION ONLY THE PLOT. The song Good Riddance is own by Green Day**

 _ **One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain- Bob Marley**_

" _5years ago and I-I rejected him even though I d-didn't want to I'm such a bad person I-I broke my first crush h-heart-" he shouted as he started to cry more, "I'm such a heartless bastard! I don't deserve any love or compassion" Castiel said with a pain expression on his face._

 _Balthazar eyes widen hearing the words coming out of his cousin "Castiel you're not a bastard or heartless alright why don't you tell me everything alright" he said with a small smile. Castiel only nodded as he began to tell him about that faithful day…_

Castiel looks up at Balthazar with swollen eyes "I have always loved…Dean" Balthazar only nods as if encouraging him to continue Castiel sighs "I never thought of him ever liking me you know a jock and a shy geek like me falling in love with each other is something that only happens in movies or stories never reality" he gets up, "Never in my life would I ever think of him actually feeling the same towards me…it was absurd. Castiel looks at Balthazar "So it never occurred to me of Dean's feelings though on the last day in Kansas it was my goal to tell him I was leaving…well before I was going to confess to him. I had it all planned in my head so I knew that Dean would throw a fit for just telling him just then and there that I was leaving that day to New York, but I knew he would understand and we would spend the day together and that's before I confess to him and if he rejected I would be at peace though it would hurt. Though being me nothing never goes according to plan and he confesses to me which I was glad I just wanted to kiss him…but what then? What's the probability of me and him doing a long relationship actually working a one in a million? That's when I made the rash decision and reject him and never tell him of what would happen that night. I couldn't believe I broke him that much Dean Winchester crying over me it's CRAZY! I took everything I broke his heart and then I made the man I love look as if he went to hell and is filled with so much hate and pain…a broken soul that I can't heal."

Castiel felt better as he felt his guilt get lifted off his chest he just wanted to smile for the light weight feeling. Balthazar was in shocked as he processed everything he has just heard. Finally getting a hold to his mentality he looked up at his cousin _how could he be so calm all this time_ Balthazar thought as he began to speak "Castiel I know you fell as this is all your fault. Do you really feel that he is depressed he is a big boy Cassie and he might have got over it already?" Castiel stiffen as he looked over to his cousin sitting on his bed "How would YOU know you don't know if he does! YOU don't know anything at ALL!" Castiel shouted while Balthazar stood up "Well then why don't you just ask him then Castiel" Balthazar stated with a bit of venom in his voice. Castiel looked away just the thought of seeing dean again made his stomach turn "I can't". He replied "you can't or you just don't want to" Balthazar questioned eyeing him carefully "Either way …how would I be able to meet him if I don't know where he is" Castiel said as he sent Balthazar a glare.

"That' why you have a lucky cousin who is going out with his brother" Balthazar said with a small smirk. "Anyway I bet Sam would let an old friend of Deans in to see him" Castiel just stared at Balthazar with a hint of fear in his eyes and with that Balthazar was out of the room only to stop midway as he spoke "we'll go after the concert tomorrow so get some rest Cassie" Balthazar said as he just closed the door while Castiel couldn't comprehend what just occurred _I'm so screwed_ Castiel mumbled as he went to sleep.

~le next day con e Dean Winchester~

"Alright I want this show to be great so everybody let's do a great job and let's get this rolling" Dean shouted as the crew got ready to work he walked towards Sam who was holding Ben "How's my big boy today" dean said as he poked Ben's stomach as the baby replied with a giggle Dean just smiled at how much his son has grown. "Well I'm off Sammy take care of my son" dean stated as he started to walk off "Dean wait I need to ask you something" Sam said loud enough for dean to turn his attention to Sam "what is it now Sam I need to practice" "Well some of our old friends wanna meet you after the concert do you think we can hang out?" sam asked "Who will take care of Ben" Dean asked as he was very curious what friend wanted to come to meet him than make him sign autographs. "Jo" Sam replied quickly as dean put his hand on his chin as to look as he was actually thinking "Sure why the hell not" he said with a smile as he walked off. "Alright …hope this doesn't go bad" Sam sighed as he took off to go change Ben's diaper.

~at le concert~

Dean looks above the crowd "California this is my last day here but I'm not leaving until I give you one hell of a show" the crowd went wild chanting deans name. "To end this wonderful concert I hope you had the time of your life" Dean said as the crowd screamed he teases the crowd by playing only a bit on the guitar then stopping repeating it until his crowd screams louder. Dean smiles to himself as he starts playing and begins to sing.

" _Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go So make the best of this test and don't ask why It's not a question but a lesson learned in time_

 _It's something unpredictable but in the end is right_

 _I hope you had the time of your life"_

 _So take the photographs and still frames in your mind Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial For what it's worth, it was worth all the while_

 _It's something unpredictable but in the end is right I hope you had the time of your life_

 _It's something unpredictable but in the end is right I hope you had the time of your life_

 _It's something unpredictable but in the end is right I hope you had the time of your life"_

Dean stops as he stares into the crowd "Thank you Bakersfield" as he walks off stage. He walks to his bus and sees some people in there _**oh right my friends are stopping by**_ **he said to himself** he said to himself _**well here goes nothing.**_ As he opens the door he sees a mouthful of candy in Gabriel's mouth and Balthazar using his TV and Sam sitting near Gabriel. "Well hey guys' what's up?" he asked casually as he can "Nothing much you know just chilling you dean?" asked Balthazar never moving his eye from the TV. "I'm good you guys enjoy the show/" he asked as he noticed the wristband on both Balthazar's and Gabriel's wrist. "Was a badass show dean" said Balthazar and Gabriel in unison.

"Oh-"Dean was cut off by the door opening behind him and the gruff voice which seems so familiar to him "I do not understand why you would want me to buy more liquor if you have enough to drug us all" said the voice. Dean noticing the voice turned around slowly as if it would disappear like a ghost but no…a man with a trench coast wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt stood before him. Dean wanted to say so many things but it wouldn't come out so he just said one word "Castiel". The man looked up to him and smiled a bit "Hello Dean"

To be continued


	6. Chapter 6: Given Up

**DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MUSIC MENTION ONLY THE PLOT.**

 _ **After Silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music- Aldous Huxley**_

 _Dean wanted to say so many things but it wouldn't come out so he just said one word "Castiel". The man looked up to him and smiled a bit "Hello Dean"_

It seem as if everything went silent as both me looked at each other the tension was building in the atmosphere. Emerald eyes widen with a hint of anger and joy while the blue eyes showed guilt and shame. Sam couldn't handle it anymore so he broke the silence, "Thanks Castiel it's just some of us don't get buzzed as easily anymore" he said his voice cracking a bit. Castiel gaze falls to look at Sam "Oh I see well here you go "he said as he handed the bags that contained the liquor to Sam "Yeah here want one Ca-" Sam was cut off by Dean "What the Hell is happening here Sam! He shouted a bit and sent a deadly glare in Sam's direction.

Sam knew this was going to be a big mess though he never thought Dean can act so calm. When Sam was told that Castiel was going to be coming as well to meet Dean after his concert he knew it's going to be troublesome. Yet again he wanted Dean to stop sulking about Castiel for years now so might as well bring the man to the gathering he was still his friend and Dean just has to suck it up. "What Dean it's just a gathering of our friends that we haven't seen in a while" Sam replied as he sat and opened a beer.

Dean wanted to yell to Sam why Castiel the person that rejected him and one he held dear to was sitting in the couch drinking his beer next to Gabriel. Though he did agree that Sam could bring their friends over e never expected that Castiel was going to be here for all he knew Castiel was dead to him in some mysterious way. He gritted his teeth as he tried to calm himself down though his attention was to the man Castiel who spoke "Dean if it is to uncomfortable for you that I am here I can leave" and as much as Dean wanted to say yeah go he couldn't. Castiel was also Sam's friend and it's not like Cas was only his. Dean gave up being anguished and opened a beer and took a seat next to Balthazar "its fine Castiel you can stay I'm just tired after the show" he said as he gave him the best smile he could muster up.

After a few drinks later the tension in the room was broke with drunken laughter and childish games in which Gabriel suggested. Dean was getting comfortable with as sitting near him as they both looked at each other they couldn't help but smile to each other Balthazar noticed this as an evil smirk played on his lips "None of this Sissy games let's play some Dare or Double Dare" he said not waiting for a response he looked at Sam "Sam Dare or Double Dare" he asked Sam looked at him for a bit before he answered "Dare" Balthazar smiled "I dare you to act as if you were in love with me" he said while Sam eyes widen "What! No way!" "Either do it or take off your shirt in front of me" Balthazar said with a smirk. Sam not wanting to act in love with his boyfriend's cousin sighed as he took off his shirt while Gabriel and Balthazar clapped and whistled when he did it. After everyone went their turn Gabriel had to eat a handful of carrots, Dean had to sing in a girl voice, while Cas had to sit on Sam's lap and that was awkward.

Things were getting intense and Balthazar being that sneaky bastard he is looked at his cousin who was sitting on Sam's lap. "Castiel Dare or Double Dare" he said "Dare Balthazar" with that Balthazar smiled like the Grinch "I dare you to French kiss Dean for 5 minutes" he said while he laughed at how Castiel's eyes got so wide with a petrified face. "What Balthazar I can't do that" he said as he looked at Dean "Either do it or you'll have to do it for 10 minutes" Balthazar calmly as he shrugged "so which one is it Castiel?" Castiel thought about it a bit as he gulped down and looked at Dean who had an arched eyebrow "5 minutes" he said. Balthazar wanted to jump up in the air for Castiel actually accepting but instead spoke "Alright go get him tiger" as he patted Castiel's back and pushed him to dean.

Dean heard the dare that Castiel got and was ready to see him run out of the bus, but was a bit shocked when he stayed and agreed at doing it. When Castiel came near him Dean leaned a bit close till their noses brushed and they could feel each other's breathe. "Castiel you don't have to do this if you don't want to "Dean said in a low voice "its Cas…and I want to" Cas said. Dean was shocked and wanted to interject with a question that is before Cas pushed his lips onto deans. Dean had to admit that Castiel's lips were as soft as an angel Dean kissed back as eagerly as he bit Cas bottom lip earning a moan from Cas. He felt Castiel's arm around his neck as Cas tongue brushed his teeth moaning for entrance Dean let him in as their Tongues were in a fight for dominance. Dean never wanted this to end as he made Cas sit on his lap never breaking away from kissing. Dean never wanted to let Cas go though eventually Castiel broke the kiss when he heard Balthazar tell him 5 minutes passed.

Castiel couldn't believe he just kissed Dean he looked at how dean still had his arms wrapped around his waist and his lips were swollen a bit. Thinking the only reason he got away for doing this was because they were drinking Cas didn't want to believe it was because of this but reluctantly he did. Everything was in an awkward silence until we heard a knock on the door. Sam got up and opened it to reveal Jo holding Ben in her arms asleep "Hey guys sorry to butt in but the lil guy wants to sleep already" she said as he handed over Ben to Sam "It's fine Jo thanks for watching him" he smiled as he was holding his nephew. "No prob well later" she said as she walked off Sam closed the door and turned back to the guys.

Seeing his son Dean immediately stood up and took hold of ben "Aw my lil boy sleeping already" he whispered as he kissed Ben's temple. Dean walked to a door in the bus near the restroom leaving Cas in shock seeing Dean having a son. There were so many things that were going on in Cas mind that were interrupted by Dean returning rubbing his neck slightly "Sorry guys but now that Ben is sleeping might as well hit the hay too" he told everyone but was only looking at Cas.

Everyone left that night saying their goodbyes and hugs but when it was Deans turn with Cas they just stared at each other. It seemed as time froze in that moment for when Cas looked at Dean de didn't even notice he was holding his breathe. Until dean said "Goodbye Castiel" Castiel knew that kiss meant nothing to Dean and Dean might still be hurt for what happened those years ago he knew that dean wouldn't call him Cas even if it was their only hope for survival. The reason was because Cas in terms that Dean will never call him Cas until he was forgiven or even better off dead. So when Castiel looked up at Dean he gave him the best smile he could muster up before the mask broke "Goodbye Dean" he said in his gruff voice. He turned to walk away knowing nothing would be said after those words it pained Cas to admit that he lost his friend long before they met.

To be continued


	7. Chapter 7:Memories

**DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MUSIC MENTION ONLY THE PLOT. Radio is owned by He Is We and Cure my Tragedy (Letter to God) is own by Cold**

 _ **Music in the soul can be heard by the universe- Lao Tzu**_

 _He turned to walk away knowing nothing would be said after those words it pained Cas to admit that he lost his friend long before they met._

Dean awoke by the screams of Ben as he rubbed his eye and went towards his son, "Damn Ben… do you enjoy to wake your father when he barely goes to sleep", he whispered as he readied a bottle for Ben. As he gave his son his bottle the baby instantly fell asleep in his crib again. Dean leaned down and kissed his temple and went to bed.

 **~Le Morning in Dean's House~**

Dean woke up with a bright light shining through the window he got his bed and with a bad headache he sighed, walking off to the bathroom. He wet his face and dried himself with a towel as he started with his usual routine, taking a shower, brushing his teeth. Changing into some pants and a t-shirt he went to the kitchen and made himself coffee. As he sat at the small booth in the kitchen area as he began to think back of what occurred last night.

Dean was still in shock that Castiel was here, how much he missed him and to see him pained him too much. Everything that happened between them was still unreal in his mind that moment when Castiel's chapped lips pressed against his it felt like paradise. He looked at his watch and cursed "Dammit I'm late" he pushed his thoughts to the side as he called Sam.

Their conversation was simple with "okay" and "yeah" and some "bitch" or "jerk". Just as dean was going to leave he sees the calendar on the cabinet courtesy of Sam always getting bitchy when he didn't know what day it was. Then that was the moment that Dean was holding his breathe, December 16 it read. He left the house with Ben in his arms as he noticed Jo in her car as he handed her Ben. Getting on the bus he sat with so much sorrow written across his face, not noticing Sam entering the bus he turned to see Sam who was talking but didn't hear a word but only muttered "Powerless". Sam eyes widen at what his brother said and knowing exactly what he was talking about. Powerless was a song that dean wrote after Lisa died, so Sam sat Dean down as he reassured him and gave him a hug. Sam didn't like to leave his brother in this condition but he knew dean wouldn't do anything reckless.

-Deans POV-

I've been through this day before but it still hurts how much I miss her. December 16, 2008 Lisa Winchester died in a car accident and it was all my fault I could of prevented it but we fought that night and she stormed out, she didn't take the car but went across the street. I was yelling at her to come back home and that is when she stopped in the middle of the road and shouted. Bright lights hit her beautiful face I saw the 18-wheeler not stopping even though the lights were red. I couldn't move from my spot on the porch I saw that she turned and began to ran that's when my legs finally started to move and I ran as hard as I could to her. Though I was late I screamed her name when the 18- wheeler collided with her body I heard her scream my name as I reached her body I felt her heartbeat fading slowly. I fell to my knees as I grabbed her and pulled her closely tears fell down my face as she faintly told me "Finally…you…cried" she smiled at me "Take care of Ben …Dean…I …You" with that her eyes closed. I stared at her "I love you too Lisa I love you too" I told her my vision being blurry as the tears fell. I heard the sirens the cops questioned me and I answered them Sam came near me with Ben in his arms.

I was covered with the blood of my precious Lisa as I held Ben in my arms as he smiled at me. Tears fell on his face as I tried to wipe them away I could tell that he also knew that his mother would never come back again as he started to cry. I soothed him as I started to sing 'Hey Jude' while trying not to cry once I saw that he calmed down I kissed his cheek, "It's okay buddy, Daddy's here and I won't let anyone hurt you" I told him.

Just wanting to hear her voice I went and played a song she made about me when we were dating. I remember the song so well I told her she wouldn't be able to make me shed a tear at all she was always so lively she dedicated a song named Radio. Both of us being artist this gave us a reason to make songs to one another it was childish but we enjoyed it. As the song started to play I felt a bit happy hearing her voice.

" _He grew up just a little too fast,_

 _Lost the need it's all in his past._

 _I can hear him humming, from the other side of the room._

 _Guess he's got rhythm, cause he hums everytime he's blue."_

I fetch myself a beet as I laid back hearing her sing

" _Oh._

 _Radio,_

 _Bleed me a melody._

 _That'll make this boy cry,_

 _Oh, oh, oh._

 _Radio,_

 _Bleed me a melody._

 _That'll make him wonder why,_

 _He was so cold."_

I thought of how she finally made me cry but never got the time to rub it in my face.

" _Broken glass and a pretty face,_

 _Silent mourn full of hate._

 _Quiet face,_

 _Silent mourn._

 _Screaming for consequence,_

 _Bleeding for more."_

I put my arm over my eyes as I remember her smiles and the way she lit up every time I called her mine.

" _Radio,_

 _Bleed me a melody,_

 _That'll make this boy cry._

 _Oh, oh, oh._

 _Radio,_

 _Bleed me a melody._

 _That'll make him wonder why,_

 _He was so cold."_

Holding back my tears I drink some more beer.

" _Play him a song,_

 _That reminds him of a time._

 _When he wasn't tumbling, down, down._

 _Tumbling down."_

I put my hands to my head as I try to clear my head.

" _Radio,_

 _Bleed me a melody._

 _That'll make this boy cry,_

 _Oh, oh, oh._

 _Radio,_

 _Bleed me a melody._

 _That'll make him wonder why,_

 _He was so cold."_

I finally let go of holding back and let the tears flow down my face.

" _Radio, Radio._

 _Radio, (Radio)._

 _Bleed me a melody._

 _Radio, Radio._

 _Bleed me a melody._

 _Radio,_

 _That boy's got rhythm, cause he hums everytime he's blue._

 _Radio, Radio."_

I get up and wipe my tears as I look up "Sorry Lisa" and with that I walked out of my bus and put a smile on my face.

-END OF DEAN'S POV-

Dean walked up on the stage for the last time before they have to leave the manager of the stage let him play a song if he wanted to. Dean enjoyed the offer and accepted as he started to play a song no one has ever heard though the band finally got the beat of it. Sam who was backstage heard the music and saw the only light on the stage was pointed at Dean. Everything was dark that Sam wondered what Dean was doing so he sat far from Dean's view and waited. Sam as well never heard this beat and didn't know if dean made a new song without telling him so there he sat.

Sam seemed to forget that he brought Gabriel and Castiel with him as he seemed focused on Dean at the time. Castiel and Gabriel sat farther from Sam and waited to what Dean was going to do. Finally seeing that dean was starting to sing Castiel just stared at him noticing the sadness in his eyes.

" _Remember all the times we used to play?_

 _You were lost and I would save you_

 _I don't think those feelings will ever fade_

 _You were born apart of me_

 _I was never good at hiding anything_

 _My thoughts break me,_

 _do you understand what you mean to me?_

 _You are my faith"_

Castiel was mesmerized by the tone of Dean's voice as he sang Sam felt the same way never has he heard Dean sound so … broken.

" _Won't you cure my tragedy?_

 _Won't you cure my tragedy?_

 _Don't take her smile away from me_

 _She's broken and I'm far away_

 _Won't you cure my tragedy?_

 _Won't you cure my tragedy?_

 _If you make the world a stage for me_

 _Then I hope that you can hear me scream_

 _(Won't you cure my tragedy?)"_

Everyone who was in the building at the time started sitting down and hearing this song that they never heard before.

" _When I sit and think of the days we shared_

 _And the nights you covered for me_

 _Every little thing that I ever did_

 _You would stand by me_

 _Every time you cry it would take my wind_

 _My heart would break_

 _If I could be strong like you were for me_

 _You are my faith"_

Dean looked up as he looked as if it was pointless and shook his head.

" _Won't you cure my tragedy?_

 _Won't you cure my tragedy?_

 _Don't take her smile away from me_

 _She's broken and I'm far away_

 _If you made the world a stage for me_

 _Then I hope that you could hear me scream_

 _Can you hear me scream?_

 _Can you hear me scream?_

 _Won't you cure my tragedy?_

 _Won't you cure my tragedy?_

 _Don't take her smile away from me_

 _She's broken and I'm far away_

 _Won't you cure my tragedy?_

 _Won't you cure my tragedy?_

 _If you made the world a stage for me_

 _Then I hope that you can hear me scream"_

Everyone felt the knot in their throats as they were blown away with Dean, Castiel notes some were tearing up.

" _I can't take this anymore_

 _I can't feel this anymore_

 _Won't you take and give her pain to me_

 _'Cause my whole life I've made mistakes_

 _(My whole life I've made mistakes)_

 _Can you hear me scream_

 _Can you hear me scream"_

Once all the music stopped Dean heard the noise of clapping he saw the main lights of the audience side start to light up as he saw people wiping their eyes with smiles on their faces. Dean turned to them all and noticed that Sam as well was wiping tears from his eyes though what caught his attention was Castiel's face. Castiel gave him a small smile as tears fell from his eyes, Gabriel was next to him and looked as if he was trying to hold back tears but failed when Sam took hold of him. Dean knew at this moment that he stilled loved Castiel and this time he won't let him slip through his fingers. He wants him by his side for the rest of his life.

To be continued


	8. Chapter 8: New love

**DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MUSIC MENTION ONLY THE PLOT. THE SONG LOOK AFTER YOU IS BY THE FRAY.**

 _ **Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. ~Oscar Wilde**_

 _Dean knew at this moment that he stilled loved Castiel and this time he won't let him slip through his fingers. He wants him by his side for the rest of his life._

Dean took off his guitar as he got off the stage and smiled to the people who patted his back. Once off the stage he went straight to Castiel who was talking to Sam and Gabriel. Interrupting their conversation Dean looked at Castiel as he spoke "Sorry guys I have something to talk about with Cas so I need him to come with me. I'll see you guys later." With that he took hold of Castiel's arm and led them outside. Once away from peering eyes Dean turned to Castiel "Castiel I need you to answer something for me that has been bugging me." He said as he saw Castiel nod, "What is it that you need to know Dean?" Castiel asked. Dean looked down as he whispered "Why did you leave me Cas? Why did you go after I confessed to you? Did you hate me because I was a disgusting faggot that was in love you?" Dean said with a hint of anger in his eyes Castiel looked at Dean Hurt clearly written in his voice, "Dean I would never be disgusted with you and if I was it would mean I hate myself. Dean I also am gay so it can't be possible for me to hate you and I loved you too. The reason that I left wasn't because of your confession but my parents had been relocated with the business and they wouldn't let me live by myself even though I was 18. You don't understand the confliction I felt when you confessed to me I wanted to kiss you right then and there. But I was being selfish and only thinking of myself when I rejected I just thought if I accepted and told you I was leaving we wouldn't work. I'm sorry you had to love someone as pathetic as me and I hope you will forgive me one day." Having everything off his chest castiel tried to hold back the tears that were forming as he started to walk away. Not even two steps later was he being pulled back as he was met with a firm chest and strong arms wrapped around him.

"You stupid son of a bitch" dean muttered into castiel's hair "you think after saying that shit I'm going to let you out of my sight. You're wrong Cas I'm keeping you near me now." As dean looked down at castiel he lifted his chin watching those blue eyes as he pressed his lips onto his angel. Just as he was about to pull away he felt arms wrap around his neck deepening the kiss. With what seemed forever they finally pulled apart both flushed and lips swollen deans eyes became a bit glazed with lust with the man in front of him. Putting his hand on castiel's waist he saw the flustered look on castiel's face as he smirked as he slowly kissed his neck. Just as he was about to kiss castiel again he hears a cough from behind him. Turning around he sees Sam and Gabriel looking at them with a small blush forming. "Sorry to interrupt Dean but we need to leave now" Sam said. Sighing Dean let go of castiel only to get a hold of his hand "Fine but I'm taking him with me so if you don't mind can you leave." Dean said with a bit of venom in his voice Sam just turned around and left with Gabriel on his heels, Castiel looked at his hand then towards Dean "Dean where is your next destination for this tour?" Looking back at Cas, Dean answered, "We are going back to Kansas" Castiel eyes widen, "We are going back to Kansas?" Dean looked at Cas with confusion written on his face, "Yes is there something wrong with that?" Castiel shook his head, "No, it's just I didn't think I'll go back to work so quickly."

Dean questioned, "You work in Kansas?" Castiel nodded "Yes, I kind of have to since I am the CEO of my company." Dean eyes widen, "You are a CEO? Since when?" Castiel looked away as he spoke, "It is the reason why I left Dean. I left and Graduated and took over my parents company and attended the university and got a Master in Business and now I am here with you" he stated calmly. Dean was impressed that Castiel became a hot shot though he knew that Castiel might have thought the same with him. Taking Castiel's hand he walks toward his bus and stopping bye to wave at some of the crew. Finally reaching the bus he goes inside and leads Castiel to the couch "Stay here Cas I'll be right back" he says as he leaves the bus.

Castiel looks around the bus and noticed that it is very tidy he seems to laugh at the thought of Dean cleaning the bus. While he looks around he notices a calendar on the wall as he inches closer he sees writing on today's date. Though just as he was about to read it he hears the door opening as he turns back to see a girl with blond curls. She is wearing ripped jeans and a tank top covered with a biker jacket. "Who are you?" she asked, Castiel thought a bit before answering, "My name is Castiel, I'm a friend of Dean." "I've never heard of you and I would have if it came to Dean." She replied. Castiel held in a sigh as he responded, "Me and Dean used to be best friends until I left to another state and I haven't seen him since now." The girl seemed to accept his answer, "Since you are his friend would you mind taking care of his son. I really need to do something and I can't find Sam anywhere." She asked. Castiel nodded as the girl left the bus and later came back in with a sleeping baby in her arms. "Here he is" she says and just as she was about to leave "What is your name?" he asked. She looked around and gave him a small smile "Names Jo nice to meetcha." And with that Jo left the bus with Castiel holding Ben.

Left alone with Ben Castiel didn't know what to do with the boy in his arms. Castiel has no experience with children only how to change diapers and feed them. Though he never knew what to do if the child were to cry. Castiel silently prayed that Dean would come already and that Ben wouldn't cry. Slowly sitting down he stiffly holds onto the sleeping child. Everything seemed to go smoothly that is until he heard a whimper coming from his arms. _Oh no he is waking up_ Castiel thought as he stood up only making the whimpers become full blown cries. Maybe things were crossing his mind trying to find an idea to make the child sleep. Then it hit him he will need to sing the child to sleep as he has seen maybe people do in many films. No one actually knew castiel took singing classes since it never came to conversations but he will admit he is a decent singer. Now that he knew what to do he tried to find a song to sing which as kinds hard since all his mind was hearing where the cries. So instead he just bust one out though it was a bit sappy to sing to a child as long as he fell asleep was that he cared about. So he rocked Ben as he started to sing.

" _If I don't say this now, I will surely break_

 _As I'm leaving the one I want to take_

 _Forgive the urgency, but hurry up and wait_

 _My heart has started to separate"_

He saw Ben cries slowly dying out as he patted the babies back.

" _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Be my baby_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Be my baby_

 _I'll look after you"_

Castiel was a bit proud that Ben seemed to calm down to his singing as he started to walk around the bus still rocking him.

" _There now, steady love, so few come and don't go_

 _Will you won't you, be the one I always know?_

 _When I'm losing my control, the city spins around_

 _You're the only one who knows, you slow it down"_

Castiel seemed lost as he began to sing a bit louder, distracted he didn't noticed that the door was opening.

" _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Be my baby_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Be my baby_

 _I'll look after you_

 _And I'll look after you"_

Castiel looked down at Ben to see him looking back at him as castiel smiled.

" _If ever there was a doubt_

 _My love she leans into me_

 _This most assuredly counts_

 _She says most assuredly_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Be my baby_

 _I'll look after you_

 _After you"_

Castiel closed his eyes as he kept a steady pace to his rocking movements.

" _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Be my baby_

 _Oh, oh_

 _It's always have and never hold_

 _You've begun to feel like home yeah_

 _What's mine is yours to leave or take_

 _What's mine is yours to make your own_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Be my baby_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Be my baby_

 _Oh, oh"_

Noticing Ben was entering slumber castiel lowered his voice to a whisper as he sang quietly.

" _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Be my baby_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Oh, oh_

 _Be my baby_

 _Oh, oh"_

As castiel finished he sat down only to hear a voice, "Well Cas I didn't knew you sang." Castiel turned flushed as he saw Dean standing there smirking. Just as he was about to speak Gabriel comes into the bus "Yo lovebirds sorry to interrupt but we need Cassie at the moment." He said while eating a cookie. Castiel sighed "What is it Gabriel?" he asked Gabriel slowly turned serious, "It's Lucifer" he said. With that Castiel eyes widen _No way it can't be…_

To be continued

A/N: Sorry for this being late but school is trying to bring me down but I did it.


	9. Chapter 9 Sympathy for the devil

**DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS.**

 **A/N: sorry I was gone life hits me in the worst way. There is mention of rape and abuse I don't tend to write about this until it has happened recently to one of my family members so I might have taken my anger out in this chapter. Once again I apologized but enjoy the chapter hope you enjoy it.**

 _ **So run, run, run. And hate me, if it feels good I can't hear your screams anymore**_

 _ **You lied to me but I'm older now. And I'm not buying baby. Demanding my response**_

 _ **Don't bother breaking the door down I found my way out. And you'll never hurt me again-**_

 _ **Evanescence - The Last Song I'm Wasting On You**_

 _Castiel sighed "What is it Gabriel?" he asked Gabriel slowly turned serious, "It's Lucifer" he said. With that Castiel eyes widen_ _No way it can't be_

Castiel was still in shocked there can't be no way that Lucifer could find him not this soon. Shaking off the bad thoughts he looked at Gabriel, "What about Lucifer?" Gabriel sighed, "Michael called me that Lucifer has been released from prison but when he had to check with his patrol officer he didn't show up. So they started a search of the apartment he stayed at and he was gone. Lucifer is now on the loose cassie I think you should hire some protection for the meantime. We all know what happened last time and we wouldn't want a repeat of that." Running fingers through his hair castiel nodded as he turned back he was met with worried green eyes. "Dean" castiel said, Dean walked over towards them looking between Gabriel and castiel. "What's going on? "why does cas need to hire bodyguards? And who the hell is Lucifer?" he questioned his voice demanding as he stared them down. Sighing Gabriel patted castiel's back "Well he is your boy toy you tell him I'm off to see my moose."

Alone together another sigh escaped castiel lips running his fingers through his hair a habit he has still not gotten rid of. "let's go inside the bus and I'll tell you everything dean" castiel said as dean nodded. Both heading towards the bus they slowly close the door as they sit on the table grabbing water bottles for the both of them dean passes one to castiel. "So what's going on?" he asked as he opens his water bottle.

Drinking a bit of water castiel turns to dean "A lot of things happened during these 5 years that we have not seen each other Dean." He started with dean's silence he took that as his que to continue. "After I had graduated high school in New York there was a man that would tutor me in my financial studies in college. He was one of the best in the school and I admired him for that. He was kind and always gave a hand to anyone in need. So in sort I started to have a infatuation with him though I knew it couldn't happened since he had a girlfriend at the time. So one day he announced that he broke up with his girlfriend while he was helping me study I didn't understand why he would tell me. So I asked and he chuckled."

~Flashback~

Castiel was sitting on a table books opened everywhere and glasses slowly falling out of place. Lucifer sat next to him pointing out theories on the textbook. Castiel was fully concentration as Lucifer talked taking notes in his notepad the concentration broken with the sound of movement next to him. "Sorry didn't mean to break your concentration Castiel." Lucifer spoke as he slowly smiled "It's fine don't worry about it" castiel replied. Just as Castiel was about to go back to taking notes Lucifer speaks up "So I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday" he states castiel tilts his head in confusion "I see I'm sorry that happened but why are you telling me this?" castiel questioned. Then the most beautiful noise reached castiel ears as he sees Lucifer chuckling "Well it's because I broke up with her because of you." He said as he stared into castiel's eyes "because o-of me?" castiel stuttered flustered that Lucifer was so close to him. "Yes because I like you or even more than like do you understand what I'm saying here Castiel?" he says as he slowly leans closer to castiel. "I believe I do but what do you want from me Lucifer?" castiel asked as he looked into those blue cool eyes. "Well isn't it obvious I want to be your boyfriend do you want that too right" Lucifer said lips barely brushing castiel's. "Yes" castiel responded as he felt the other close the gap between them.

 **-Two years past-**

Castiel was sitting on the couch, book in hand as the television noise played in the background so consumed in his reading he didn't hear the door open wide as someone entered the room. "Castiel" the sound made castiel jump up only to turn to his boyfriend's face "Lucifer" he starts "I told you not to do that when I'm consumed in my reading". "Sorry angel I forget sometimes" he replies as he leans down to kiss castiel's cheek. Castiel hums as he watches Lucifer sits down next to him "So what's up?" Lucifer asks while stretching his arms over his head "you told me that we needed to talk so what is it about?" Lucifer looks at Castiel getting serious while castiel swallows the lump in his throat. Now castiel knew he needed to this for the both of them and one of them would end up hurt if he didn't. Castiel for a while now has been losing affection for his boyfriend he thought maybe spicing their relationship would work but castiel couldn't even get excited for it so they never went far than oral. He had asked Gabriel about it and he explained that maybe the relationship wasn't working out and he agreed there was no more spark and it tended to get dull to castiel. Now as he sits across his boyfriend he could feel the sweat drip down his face. "Well" he says "Lucifer you know that I have always liked you and that when you asked me to be your boyfriend I was ecstatic. Though during the years the spark that was there has gone. Please don't get offended I know you can find a great man or woman that can fulfill your needs. What I'm trying to say is that I'm breaking up with you and I hope you understand. I have already packed my stuff so I'll leave your apartment tonight. I just needed to get this out of my chest."

After all was said Lucifer sat there his eyes hardening at each word that left castiel's mouth. Leaving him he must be joking he thought. Grabbing castiel's wrist he pulled him close as he whispered in his ear "You think that you can leave me after all these years Castiel you are mistaken you are mine. No one else can have you and if you go out that door you are going to regret it." He let castiel go as he got off the couch as he headed to his room.

Castiel sat there in shock as the words that Lucifer said to him ran though his head. Now castiel was sure he needed to get the hell out of there. He has heard that at the first sign of domestic abuse you need to get out of there and call for help. Grabbing his backpack from the side of the couch he quietly went towards the door castiel was glad that he sent his other belongings beforehand to Balthazar's apartment. Just as he was about to open the door a hand forces it close slowly castiel turns to see those blue eyes filled with anger. "DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO GO! YOUR MINE CASTIEL!" Lucifer shouted as he grabbed castiel's neck and threw him down making him hit his shoulder with the table. Blue eyes widen as Lucifer walked towards him castiel crawled back only to be met with the wall. Roughly being grabbed castiel was dragged through the living room and thrown to the bed. Castiel could only watch as Lucifer started undressing himself "Now I'm going to show how much you belong to me Castiel" Lucifer whispered. Castiel couldn't scream he was frozen as he was assaulted by a man he thought loved him. Lucifer lived up to his name for he was beautiful but he was still the devil and I gave him sympathy.

Hours passed as castiel laid in bed cuts and bruises covering his body and blood running down his legs. Lucifer was fixing his clothes as he looked over to castiel "Your lucky that I got called into work now be a slut and stay put." The sound of the door closing was all castiel heard his blue eyes that were filled with life were now dead. Castiel went and got into a change of clothes he knew he had a few hours to get out. The pain that filled his body didn't stop him from grabbing the clothes that were thrown on the floor into a plastic bag. Sending a text to Balthazar to pick him up castiel grabbed his backpack and walked out the door. Not looking back when he saw Balthazar car pull up he ran and pried the door opened as he sat himself down. Balthazar looked at Castiel "Castiel what happened?" with only those words castiel broke down in tears.

6 months has passed as Lucifer was charged and since he was sentenced to 5 years in prison. Castiel turned his life around after months of therapy he was able to breathe again from his nightmare. Castiel has then started to run the company his parents own rising from the ranks to CEO. After 2 years his parents suggested that he had some time for himself so he did and went with Balthazar to meet Gabriel.

- **end of flashback -**

"So that was it and then I came here and I met you and now this happened" castiel muttered. Dean could fill the anger run through his vein how dare someone hurt his castiel like that was going to have hell to pay. Wrapping castiel into a hug dean kissed his head "Don't worry I won't let that bastard near you. I'll kill him before he even tries.". Castiel let a single tear fall down as he wrapped dean in a hug "thank you".

As the two men hugged a man punched the wall in the distance putting his binoculars down he calmed himself. "So my angel thought he could get taken away from me huh?"

To be continued…

 **A/N: don't hate. Appreciate.**


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